The Proctologist and Psychiatrist

Two doctors, a psychiatrist and a proctologist, opened an office in a small town and put up a sign reading: “Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Psychology and Proctology.”

The town council was not happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it to read, “Dr. Jones and Dr. Smith: Proctology and Psychology.” It was also turned down, so in an effort to try to please the council, the two thought of a list of increasingly desperate titles.

“Schizoids and Hemorrhoids” was unacceptable, as was “Hysterias and Posteriors”, “Catatonics and High Colonics”, and “Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives”.

The council rejected “Minds and Behinds”, “Lost Souls and Butt Holes”, and “Analysis and Anal Cysts”. There wasn’t a chance that “Nuts and Butts”, “Freaks and Cheeks”, or “Loons and Moons” could have any future as the sign, either.

Finally, the two doctors posted up a sign, which the council accepted at last. It read “Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Odds and Ends.”

Proctologist in Mechanic School​

A Proctologist had been in practice for 20 years and had settled into a very comfortable life with his future being very secure. So he decided to fulfill his REAL life’s dream and become an auto-mechanic.

Having entered mechanic school, the former physician received the results of his first test back with a score of 200%. Confused, he asked the teacher why such a high score?

“Well”, said the teacher, “The first part was taking the engine apart and you did that perfectly so you got 50%. The second was to put it back together again and you did it perfectly and got another 50%. The other 100% was for doing it through the tailpipe.”